Questions

These are questions I've been asked on Tumblr by anonymous people. I have many unanswered questions on Tumblr because people are always trying to get cut with the shit they send me (Enema stalker DIE). But these are the one I've published:

Anonymous asked: Should straight men be hired to edit gay porn scenes?

No. I should be hired to edit gay porn scenes.

Anonymous asked: Do you like orgy scenes or do you prefer the one on one videos?

Are you kidding?! Have you not “heard” me wax lyrical about oil orgies? I love watching wild, messy sex with many participants. I like some romance once in a while, too.

Anonymous asked: Where do you stand on the issues of performers using cockrings in scenes? I don't like them.

I HATE cockrings.

Anonymous asked: What do you think about the Bel-Ami boys and Bel-Ami in general? Some of them are really bleeeeeh to me like the Petter twins (ewwwwwww) or Brady Jensen (GROSS), personally I love Kris Evans, Dolph Lambert, Jean Daniel and Kevin Wahol, also some people say their scenes are kinda boring (sometimes I think the same) what do you think? :)

I generally don’t like European porn, so I’ve mostly avoided Bel-Ami as such. The few times I have watched their stuff, it was to look at Lukas Ridgeston. However, lately, I’ve been into Jack Harrer. I haven’t watched any full scenes, but the clips I’ve seen looked energetic. But, I do agree with you about the Peter twins being ew.

Anonymous asked: Who are your three favorite directors in gay porn?

Michael Lucas. 

Steven Scarborough

Chi Chi LaRue

Anonymous asked: Who is the best porn star singer/rapper?

Jeff Palmer.

Anonymous asked: Who would you most want to see return to doing gay porn? Jeremy Bilding, Leo Giamani, Spencer Reed, Wolf Hudson, Blake Riley, Nash Lawler, Josh Griffin, or Turk Mason?

I hate almost everyone on this list. Josh Griffin.

Anonymous asked: Would you ever do a Mystery Science Theatre vodcast of porn films or porn scenes?

YES!

Anonymous asked: Which porn performer do you think would do the best Carol Channing impression?

Hmm. Brody Wilder.

Anonymous asked: How do you like you pasta? Does it bother you spaghetti sauce is full of salt and sugar?

I’m not a big pasta person. When I do have pasta, I like white sauces. Fitting. 

Anonymous asked: @jptomblin How as a straight girl do you get so much enjoyment out of gay porn? Im a big old homo and I barely enjoy it.

I love cock. I love when men like sucking cock and taking cock anally. It’s hot. And I started watching as a teenager. So it’s just been my thing … for years. I LOVE this part of me.

Anonymous asked: What's one thing a gay man should NEVER shave?

Fuck, I’m limited to one thing! OK. His legs.

Anonymous asked: Have you tried to seduce any of Erynn's brothers?

No. But if they are anything like their sister, I want them!

Anonymous asked: What is your opinion of the NDS men?

Austin Wilde: Sex

Anthony Romero: Beautiful

Marcus Mojo: Numb

Rod Daily: Depressed

Trystan Bull: Lame

Tyler Torro: Gross

James Huntsman: Vomit

James Jamesson: Orange-Flavored

Samuel O’Toole: Lucky Charms

Old Ape Bitch: Retinol

I just wrote the the first thing that popped in my head. 

Anonymous asked: What do you think of online studios now doing bareback?

I guess my issue is the pleading from the studio not to have bareback sex and then to show two hot ass fuck men having hot ass fuck sex without condoms. I just can’t on this question right now.

Anonymous asked: At what age should a gay porn director be retired?

Age doesn’t matter. Skill does. Retirement should happen when a person can no longer produce fresh-feeling content. If said director is producing the same stale shit one after the other, then a seat shall be had.

Anonymous asked: Are you really pornobobbie or naughtylaura?

NO! I’m flattered, though. If you’d like to hear my voice, get on Google chat and send me an invite.

Anonymous asked: Why do you think guys like Christian and jessie are under rated?

Because they aren’t praised enough. I wish I wasn’t so fucking hot and cold with my blog because I’d praise them more. 

Anonymous asked: Are you a fan of Logan Mccree?

YES!

Anonymous asked: Are Cirque de soleil porn positions killing gay porn?

No, they are giving gay porn life.

Anonymous asked: Have you ever been threatened by anyone you've criticized?

No. Should I be? 

Anonymous asked: Funny. I also thought you were naughtylaura. My question is: what is the difference between an Anthony Romero and a porn performer who doesn't get it?

The word “harder”.

Anonymous asked: After you do the sex, do you offer your guest a spot of tea or a digestive biscuit?

I offer them a book of baby names.

Anonymous asked: Why did Meryl Streep abandon the stage? Her last appearance on Broadway was 34 years ago!

I pray to my Meryl Streep on Broadway shrine every night. Don’t fucking stress me more than I am already about this. THE fuck out of movies and back on the stage, talented bitch.

Anonymous asked: What one piece of advice would you give to new porn performers?

Don’t fuck for yourself, fuck for the audience. This isn’t about you, per se, but your persona. Put on a show but don’t pose too much. Be wild and uninhibited and sell your skills. Work this moment of your life. You’re in porn, so be IN porn. 

Anonymous asked: Which porn performers are appealing because they don't take themselves seriously?

See the porn stars I follow.

Anonymous asked: What do you think of Robert Axel?

I think he’s hot but seems to have a few screws loose. And his penis is blah

Anonymous asked: Who is "Porn Biatch"?

Nobody important.

• Anonymous asked: What do you think Spencer Reed does when he's all alone?

  He’s never alone. The bacteria living on his back keeps him company.

  Anonymous asked: Give us your best Spencer Fox impression.

  Personality One: I’m gay

  Personality Two: I’m gay, as in happy

  Personality Three: I’m heterosexually homosexual

  Personality 412: Gyhgyb hahdhse Thorazine!

  Anonymous asked: What do you think about Anthony Romero?

  I love Anthony Romero. He’s has one of the sexiest faces in gay porn. There’s something about him that makes me want to watch him get the shit fucked out of him and then have someone cuddle and protect him. It’s intense.

  Anonymous asked: Does pegging have a place in the home?

  Yes.

  Anonymous asked: Do you think it's nice to have someone to worry about?

  I do. We all need love.

  Anonymous asked: Why does gay porn put up with douchebags like Cliff Jensen and Spencer Fox? They're not even cute.

  Because they’re young and dumb. Besides a few moments of acting out, they can be made to do whatever. Glory doesn’t last long. See Spencer Fox.

  Anonymous asked: Who are the most underrated performers in gay porn?

  Devon Hunter. Jessie Colter. Anthony Romero. Christian Wilde. Dayton O’Connor.

  Anonymous asked: Why do you have a blender and a hammer for an avatar?

  Blender? My avatar is of a hammer and screwdriver. I have it because these things are sacred.

  Anonymous asked: Has Jessie Colter been overexposed?

  Never. He’s not exposed enough!

  Anonymous asked: What is your remedy for chapped lips? The lips on your mouth of course.

  OK. Take olive oil and granulated sugar and make a paste. Locate an old toothbrush and use this olive oil/sugar scrub to exfoliate your lips. Then purchase a tin of Smith’s Rosebud Salve, NOT Chapstick. Chapstick is nothing but waxes and alcohol, which compounds chapped lips. The salve is petroleum based, which has occlusive properties and seals in your natural moisture. Good luck.

  Anonymous asked: Does it tickle you that most people thought you were naughtylaura when you first landed in gaypornland?

  WHAT? No way! That fucking “narrowed down, VERY short list” is certifiable.

  Anonymous asked: What is your worse nightmare? A.) a weekend of only watching Cody Cummings B.)chaperoning Spencer Fox to a high school formal c.)tweeting nice things about Daigle, Jensen and Adonis.

  Tie between A and B.

  Anonymous asked: Do you think Erynn pretends to be Canadian so she can infiltrate the Buff compound?

  I want Erynn to infiltrate MY compound!

  Anonymous asked: Who's worse? Mr. Pretentious "I'm a big thinker" porn star or Trystan Bullshit?

  Trystan Bull because his face can only make one expression: lame.

  Anonymous asked: Do you plan to publish a non-drug fueled translation of James Jamesson's blog posts?

  The problem is you’re NOT high when reading my ginger love’s blog posts. Get high and they are crystal clear.

  Anonymous asked: Are you the Spencer Reed of gay porn tweeting?

  Excuse me, I tweet with a clear mind … and back.

  Anonymous asked: Would you like to see Cody Cummings and Jessie Colter in a scene together?

  *grabs switchblade*

  Anonymous asked: Why do you dislike Marc Dylan? Are you someone else's agent?

  Please! 

  Anonymous asked: curious as to why i didnt see comments anywhere as to the men-com update tues am [spencer fox] on twitter-and no i didnt download it

  Uh … I don’t know. Probably no one cares.

  Anonymous asked: What's your favorite thing to watch in a scene?

  Anal, blow jobs and cum eating.

  Anonymous asked: from my point of view, you have the strongest and valids opinions to the industry, which takes me to ask you something... You're known by your taste is mens like Jessie or Austin, however, what do you think about twinks?

  Twinks rarely do anything for me. I mean, they’re cute and playful, but my heart lies with MEN. However, a twink being destroyed by a big burly man does do it for me. Arpad Miklos and Zack Randall’s scene still pops up in my thoughts occasionally.

  Anonymous asked: Why don't you do direct gay porn? You have such great ideas.

  Which idea? The troll dolls or the piss and oil orgy?

  Anonymous asked: Would you like to see more object used in gay porn? Like whisky bottles, rolling pins, toothbrushes, traffic cones.

  I’d like to see pink-haired troll dolls shoved up asses and “birthed” out.

  Anonymous asked: Do you ever get fed up with the porn stars who think they are intellectuals?

  Ha! I know who you are talking about. YES!

  Anonymous asked: What has happened to Parker London?

  He didn’t finish his sleeve. 

  Anonymous asked: Do you like when gay guys say "You're making my manpussy moist" in a gay porn scene?

  NO! Tell me the scene where this is spoken. Ugh.

  Anonymous asked: Tommy Defendi, Alessio Romero, JEssie Colter, Paul Wagner, Jeremy Bilding, Dean Monroe, Jimmy Clay, and Austin Wilde. Put the eight performers into f four different scenes. Each performer can only be used once.

  Jessie Colter and Austin Wilde (WILL DIE!). Tommy Defendi and Jimmy Clay. Paul Wagner and Alessio Romero. Dean Monroe and Jeremy Bilding.

  Anonymous asked: Who does the best dirty talk in gay porn?

   Tie between Parker London, Jessie Colter and Dayton O’Connor.

  Anonymous asked: Were you frightened by PeeWee Herman as young lass?

  No.

  Anonymous asked: If forced at gunpoint to choose, which scene would you choose to see? 1. Spencer Reed fisting and fucking Steven Daigle 2. Steven Daigle fucking Antony Romero and Austin Wilde 3. Jason Adonis, Cody Cummings, and Tyler Torro in a threeway.

  Scene 3. That way I can be bored to death.

  Anonymous asked: Do you twinks are ruining gay porn with their lollipops?

  LMFAO! Twinks serve a purpose —- they keep the lollipop population under control. Parasitic swirly corn-syrup laden motherfuckers!

  Anonymous asked: Who is the most overrated porn performer? Who's the most underrated?

  I find John Magnum very fake and overly posed in his performances. So I think he’s overrated … and annoying. 

  Jessie Colter, in my opinion, is underrated. This beast turns it out EVERYWHERE he goes. He should have 10,000 followers by now!

  Anonymous asked: Do you believe porn stars who say they are bi like Samuel O'Toole?

  Yes. Although, I think Leprechaun O’Toole is most likely gay. Or he will be later in life. Some are bisexual, but most of them have a preference for one sex over the other.

  Anonymous asked: Do you want to see Spencer Reed pound Austin Wilde or Christian Wilde?

  The only thing I want to see Spencer Reed pound is the Accutane. 

  nonymous asked: Who produces the most sexless gay porn? Falcon, ND or Jet Set?

  Next Door. Check out Rectodus Society to see my point. You would think a scene that features double penetration would be hot. NOT! However, Austin Wilde and Anthony Romero are NDS saving grace. Two GAY men who happen to be boyfriends —— they turn out consistently hot scenes. 

  Anonymous asked: Which three gay porn performers would you do handstands not to see again?

  Cody Cummings. Steven Daigle. Girth Brooks.

  Anonymous asked: What's your opinion on enema? Do you like it cold or warm or hot? Also, do you like milk enemas?

  Meh. I only like watching things go into an ass and not come out of it. Wait. That’s not entirely true. I’m partial to pool balls being pushed out men’s bums. I’ll pass on the ass liquid.