Where the Fuck are the Stars?

Cybersocket has released the nominations for Best Porn Star. Apparently, Cybersocket is unaware of the definition of a porn star. First, there are four categories for people in porn: Porn Robot, Porn Model, Porn Actor and Porn Star (blog post coming soon). I can tell you there are very few porn stars on the Cybersocket list. The list is entirely too long, which brings attention to the glaring omissions from the list. There are 41 names on the list! Out of these 41(!) names, there is no Parker London, Paul Wagner, Christian Wilde, Landon Mycles/Marcus Mojo, Dayton O’Connor, Jesse Santana! These are hot, active porn STARS. So, I ask, what were the criteria for the list? Let’s take a look at the names on the list. Dame Evil Biatch comments are in red.

well, i don't like that kennedy carter is not on the list.

Adam DeAngelo: Who? Well, a Google search turned up nothing but a roided-up, inked mass of muscle. How exactly is he a porn star? Has he even done hardcore fucking? Fail.

Alex Marte: Sexy, pouty, and a porn star. Win.

really sexy guy. he should definitely be on this list.

Austin Wilde: Great top. Great personality. Definitely a star. Win.

you know, i think he's a little stiff in front of the camera, but i like him well enough.

No way! Stiff? He oozes sex, Dame.

i'm not saying he won't get better but that he's not commanding enough for me. but i like him.

You're crazy. Moving on.

Baby Star: Quite possibly the worst name in porn. The fact that I can’t even look up his name without pictures of cherub-faced babies popping up is enough of a fail for me not to go any further.

well, he's a cute latin twink, but that's not your thing. i think he should be on the list.

Ben Brown: I think he's hot. He kind of looks like Nash Lawler--if Mother Nature had been kind to Nash, of course.

and he's british. what's not to like? check this out.

Brent Everett: Win.

i haven't seen much of his work.

He's adorable, gay, and has a really nice dick. Kind of twinky, though.

Chad Fitch: Twink. Meh.

Chris Porter: Super win.

i love this guy. his tattoos are over the top but they give him his edge.

I just like everything about him. His face turns me on.

Cole Streets: He's sexy, and he is a champion cocksucker. He also looks like Conner Habib. They have happy faces. Hey! Connor's not on this list? Ugh.

i'll give you the cocksucker thing. i wouldn't vote for him.

Craig Reynolds: Good porn actor. Bearish looks.

Dolph Lambert: European, and you know how I feel about Euro porn people. Next!

i take it you mean eastern european?

Drew Cutler: All-around good performer. Win.

drew is vesatile, which i like, but his face is ugly.

He's a good performer. His face is passable to me.

Girth Brooks: Big fucking fail. He’s as unattractive as his name sounds. Can we say, “squished face”?

and his cock, while big, looks fucking deformed.

Yeah, it does.

Jason Pitt: Twink with funky hair. I guess.

Jeremy Bilding: If you like your tops quiet, not really passionate and with a look of I-can’t-believe-I’m-sticking-my-cock-in-a-guy’s-ass-to-pay-rent-this-month look on his face while fucking, then Jeremy Bilding is your man. Having said that, I do think Jeremy has the best pounding rhythm out of all the tops I’ve watched. Good porn actor, better Tweeter.

not a big fan. i don't think he's attractive at all.

Well, his whole look is a bit '90s, isn't it?

there were attractive men in the 90s.

I know. I'm saying he looks to be in the wrong decade to me.

you silly bint.

Jeremy Hall: Gorgeous dick. Passionate. Awesome top. But he sucks cock with his eyes open the whole time, and it looks really weird. I skip his blowjobs because the dead eyes creeps me out. However, he’s still a porn star.

i love jeremy's body. he has a wonderful behind. it's a shame he doesn't bottom.

Jimmy Durano: Who?

Johnathan Agassi: Passionate. Win.

Kris Evans: Who?

Kyle King: Love him. Win.

you don't think he has creepy eyes? of the beady sort?

I think he's handsome. I also like his personality.

Landon Conrad: Kinda dead on camera. Great cock, though. No porn star.

agree.

Ludovic Canot: Intense. Win.

Luke Marcum: I like his hair?

his hair is rather nice, isn't it?

Mike Dreyden: Who?

Mike Matters: Um… maybe Mike would matter if he sucked a cock or dipped it in some ass. I mean, what the fuck, Cybersocket? How is this guy even considered a porn star when he hasn’t done anything? He’s been in porn for all of two weeks. He’s not even a porn robot yet.

i never heard of this guy.

My point exactly. And you watch way more porn than I do.

Nicco Sky: Yes!

Nick Moretti: Google search shows a pumped-up daddy. I guess.

Phenix Saint:I know this is wrong, but do I give a fuck? Nope. Have you ever seen a person walking down the street and instantly think, “this fucker is a douche bag”? Even though the person hasn’t said one word? Just the look of them makes you sick to your innards? Don’t lie. This guy could be the nicest guy ever to walk this planet, and I’d still hate him. His hair. His moles. His teeth. The way he spells his name. All hate, hate, hate!

to his credit, he has changed his body into something rather nice.

I don't fucking care, Dame.

all right, all right.

Pierre Fitch: I never cared for his face. But I’m sure he’s still a good performer.

Riley Price: I just love this guy’s face. Post-twink redhead. Sexy. Win.

i have a soft spot for redhead boys.

Rod Daily: It’s about time the Workhorse of Gay Porn got nominated for something. Rod’s ass has seen more cock than a hen house. He’s everywhere. Overexposed to the ultimate, but who cares? He’s an excellent bottom, OK top and is brilliant at sucking dick. Win.

hold on. he's brilliant at sucking dick?

I think so. He looks like he enjoys it.

He's a bit mechanical to me. he has absolutely no sensuality.

But he still delivers good performances. He's not even gay, so that is brilliant in and of itself.

not gay? but he wears white belts.

Ugh. Why do I bother?

Samuel Colt: Win.

Spencer Reed: Win.

Steve Cruz: Slut extraordinaire. Win.

Steve Tyler: What? Aerosmith gigs have dried up or something?

Tim Krueger: A dick with a body attached.

yes, but it's a beautiful dick!

Topher DiMaggio: Has his teeth been fixed? Beautiful guy but seems angry. Porn model.

a total dud on camera. he's handsome but has no sexual appeal to me.

That's a perfect description of a porn model.

Travis James: Based on his recent scene with Diego Sans… Wait! Diego Sans is not on this list?! Diego Sans!

diego sans is a god, in my opinion.

Well, close to one.

Trevor Knight: If you want a lesson in topping then Trevor Knight is the one you should call. Great dick. Verbal. Good rhythm. Truly a star.

trevor is fantastic top. i think he has a penchant for drama, which i love.

I know.

Trystan Bull: Fail!

Tucker Bond: Who?

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