Favorite Gay Porn Stars of 2012

It's that time of the year again! Time to list my favorite gay porn stars. I LOVE the guys on this list, and you will love them, too!

I long to eat corn again!

1. Cody Cummings: I want you to name another 75-year-old gay porn star who can stand and have his limp, dead cock fellated by so many willing men? I'll wait. You can't, can you? That's because my Cody is simply the best senior citizen gay porn star on the planet. Who doesn't like watching an aging ape "excited" man stand around like a statue or lie there like a corpse and receive head from men who look like they'd rather be having a colonoscopy with a fire-covered probe who are honored to suck his noodle? I don't know about you, but that sounds like a fun time in the Porn Cave to me. And let's talk about his evolution as a gay porn star (no pun intended; OK, yeah it's intended): He's simulating anal sex now. I mean, talk about being a fucking team player. Forget the Jessie Colters and Anthony Romeros who actually take big cocks in their assholes ... No, this motherfuckin' bitch beautiful man is adept at NOT getting fucked. Hump away, cunt Cody because I will always be a fan. And, babe, I don't mind your white hair, atrophied muscles, wrinkles and the Fixodent you leave smeared all over your geriatric sets. I don't blame you for all the Fixodent --- men tend to get frisky ideas when they see toothless gums. And we know homie don't play that cocksucking shit, right? Old pathetic bitch.  I love you just the way you are, Cody. You are my favorite gay porn star of 2012

Only 10 ribs left. Jealous?

2. Cliff Jensen: I admit, I've always wondered how Cliffy J keeps his hourglass figure so hourglass-y. His waist-hip ratio would make any woman positively envious. His stunning curvy figure aside, what I love about Cliff is how intelligent and law-abiding he is. You won't find a more upstanding citizen in gay porn. Nope. When he's not having ribs removed, he's in his garage not getting high or worrying about being extradited to Florida to serve jail time. No, he just spends his days asking for plungers on his Amazon wishlist (possibly to unclog the neighborhood's toilets --- such a good man). And he's starting his own website. HIS OWN WEBSITE, you guys. I can imagine the flaking fucking and sucking  extravaganza that's going to be. I'm proud of of you, Cliff. I wonder if we will be treated to pictures of his girlfriend's mutilated asshole and her well-meaning faggot diatribe in the blog section. Fingers crossed! Whatever Cliffy decides to do on his state of the art basic HTML website, I know it will be brilliant ... and legal. I love you, Cliffy.

Does Spencer want to come out?

3. Spencer Fox: While I'm not sure if Spencer is being allowed to come out and play these days (he has to give all the other personalities their time to shine), I must say the brief psychotic moments when Spencer was allowed to come out to play have been beautiful and truly treasured. His brilliant essays on the word "gay" and his Twitter meltdowns melt-ups make this smart, young MMA aspirant such a joy to know. Even though his mental status is as stable as the bacteria ratio on Spencer Reed's back, he has never made death threats or accused performers of having AIDS or called fans faggots like some other cunts I know. If you just leave him alone with his coconut water and lithium, he's all right. I'm so glad the gay porn industry continues to hire him. I look forward to seeing more of this precious GERM'S gem's work --- like his heterosexually homosexual gaping asshole.

Watch out!

4. Riley Price: Are you a member of Riley Price's website? Can you believe all the great content he's put up? I mean, that is how you do an eponymous website. Take note, gay porn performers hoping to start their own websites. Just look at how successful Riley Price's website is. And all it took is the power of a smartly aimed airborne cherry tomato to give this piece of shit ginger all the confidence he needed to venture out on his own. I just can't believe how well he's doing. It's really inspiring, isn't it? Personallly, I can't wait to see what he's going to do with an heirloom tomato or beefsteak tomato! He just might become President. Oh, just imagine it, guys: Riley running the country like he runs his content-heavy website. We should be so fucking lucky. Get this ginger a tomato vine, stat. STAT!

Hi, Tyler!

5. Tyler Torro: Fuck it. I can't even. *vomits*